Air traffic

[MikeKy55]

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"

Delta 351:! "Give us another hint! We use digital watches!"
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Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." TWA 2341:
"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make here?"

Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a
727?"
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A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll
out after touching down. San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a
hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are
not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the
lights and return to the airport."

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There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing
because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked". Air
Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a
B-52 that had one engine shut down.

"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

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A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich, overheard
the following: Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start
clearance time?"

Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."


Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in
Germany. Why must I speak English?"

Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):
"Because you lost the bloody war!"
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Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on
frequency 124.7"

Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,
after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of
the runway."

Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702,
contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from
Eastern 702?"

BR Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and
yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."

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One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short
of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out,
turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted
comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little
plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"

The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with:
"I made it out of DC-8 parts.

Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

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The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a
short-tempered lot. They expect one to know one's gate parking location.
So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the
following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British
Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747
pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location
now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not
been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, and I
didn't land."
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While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight
departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose
with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the
US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I
told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta!
Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference
between C and D, but get it right!"

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting:
"God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this
out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can
expect taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go
exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got
that, US Air 2771?"

"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly
silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771.! Nobody wanted to chance
engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind.

Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running
high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the ice, asking: "Wasn't I
married to you once?"

[CLSSY56]

Those were good. Have anymore. I'm an aviation nut.

[MikeKy55]

Travis, I get some from time to time. I'll post any I get. I like them too.

[19_Chevelle_69]

Originally Posted by MikeKy55

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport .....

That's my favorite one out of that group...

[CLSSY56]

"Hey! Your blocking my sun!

talk about a cross wind

"Dammit, you spilled your hot coffee on me"

Tower to VASP dc-10: "Your a little rich on #3 engine"

"I'll race you to the gates!"

Pilot: "Dam birds!"

Wonder if any of the passengers had binoculars?

747 at Reno Air Races

Pepsi

"It's not a tumer!" - Arnold Schwarzenegger (Kindigarden Cop)

No more runway left = Must rotate!

Nice picture.. just had to throw it in.

Very Expensive boat....

Splash!

Not where I'd like to be...

Bridge Landing

Expensive boat...

God is my copilot

How low can you go?

Bridge landing

[Tuned55]

This is the only aviation related footage I know of

http://www.405themovie.com/download405.asp

[CLSSY56]

That was pretty cool, fake, but cool

[MikeKy55]

This is aviation related. My kind of stuff, but it may not be the chopper I like most

http://users.rcn.com/sitzkrieg/war/gatlinggun.wmv

[Tuned55]

Our military has some pretty awsume stuff!

[19_Chevelle_69]

That's cool!