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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've never been any good at just "letting things go" when I've been wronged by someone who just doesn't care.

Around 1995, I lent an old horror movie to a co-worker on VHS around Halloween. They'd told me they really wanted to see the movie again, as they'd seen it at the theatre, and never saw it anywhere for sale (this was pre-internet). I begrudgingly lent them my tape, as they were a coworker and I figured it would be hard for them to steal it from me..

After a month or so, I asked for the tape back. They said "oh sure sorry I keep forgetting to put it in my bag." Over the course of the next month, I continued to ask them, and long story short, never got the tape back.

Life pressed on, and I ended up forgetting the movie's name. And since it was an older movie, I could not totally recall who was in it, etc.

One night this week (2022), I noticed a remake horror movie, The Haunting. It hit me like a ton of bricks that that was the movie that the person stole from me 25 years ago!!!

The movie is now available on DVD so I have ordered it and it's on the way to the house now. I'm so happy to have gotten it back, but I still hope the coworker rots..
 

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1956 chevy 210 del rey sedan
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Wow you really need to let things go. life's to short to worry about this kind of bull. It can make you bitter and unpleasant. been ther trying not to do that anymore my self, just ain't easy. but I understand your feeling.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I know, thanks. I haven't really carried it with me daily per se, but I really couldn't understand how someone could have the audacity to even do such a thing. If I could have gotten a replacement then, I would have just bought it and moved along, but it wasn't available.

The person also seemed to know I could do nothing more about it and almost seemed to enjoy knowing that.
 

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I admit to feeling your pain. While in college I loaned an algebra book to a "friend" and never got it back. I was torqued for a couple reasons - first, it was the best book on algebra (if there is such a thing) I've ever had and, second, it was a brand new book and was expensive for a struggling college student. He likely sold it back to the bookstore when he was done with it. I was bent over that for years...maybe even decades LOL! I'm well over it now and have had worse things happen to me but for some reason that one just gnawed at me. I agree that we need to let go of those things, but sometimes ya just cain't hep it.
 

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56, Chevy, Bel Air, convertible
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I recall as a young man, asking the older folks to borrow something and would sometimes get a negative as an answer. I totally understand them now some 45 years later (I'm 60) and I seldom loan out anything as this prevents a couple things from happening....

1.breakage of the item being borrowed 2. Loss of the item being borrowed and 3. Loss of a friendship over it. I know that's three but you get it. People tend not to respect what isn't theirs.

I actually had a guy, years ago, borrow a mig welder and brought it back broken. He actually said it wasn't worth fixing so he elected not to have it repaired. I still don't get that line of thinking. I rarely borrow anything from anyone as my approach is always being it back as good or better than when you borrowed it. If you break it, replace it.....quickly. and of course if it's gonna break, it's gonna do it the moment I have it in my hands.

Okay I'm done.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I recall as a young man, asking the older folks to borrow something and would sometimes get a negative as an answer. I totally understand them now some 45 years later (I'm 60) and I seldom loan out anything as this prevents a couple things from happening....

1.breakage of the item being borrowed 2. Loss of the item being borrowed and 3. Loss of a friendship over it. I know that's three but you get it. People tend not to respect what isn't theirs.

I actually had a guy, years ago, borrow a mig welder and brought it back broken. He actually said it wasn't worth fixing so he elected not to have it repaired. I still don't get that line of thinking. I rarely borrow anything from anyone as my approach is always being it back as good or better than when you borrowed it. If you break it, replace it.....quickly. and of course if it's gonna break, it's gonna do it the moment I have it in my hands.

Okay I'm done.
I totally get what you are saying. After that event, I rarely lent anything else out unless I knew the person personally.
 

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Stainless Trim Restoration
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Sure. Just need your car as collateral.
Real story, Years ago in my business a local club member borrowed a tool from me. I had to hunt him down for weeks to get it back. Same story forgot, busy, work...all the standard excuses. I got the tool back finally.

Few months go by and here he comes again to borrow again. This time I said why don't you bring your wife over and leave her as a deposit. To which he said.....Fine by me, I don't use her......so you are welcome to!

Now I was not married, nor had many Christian values (at that time), but no thank you.....and no more borrowing my tools I need to make my living.

Mikey
 

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neither a borrower nor a lender be---some famous person said that I think LOL. Jokes aside IF I borrow something it will be returned, usually in better shape than when I got it. If broken or lost, replaced with something of higher quality. #2 rule, if I have to borrow something more than once, I just go buy it instead of borrowing.
 

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Be there and done that, the forgetting part of whom borrowed a engine stand. I would of thought something that big would have been in the way after use of it and they would return it. No luck it’s been at least 15 - 20 yrs now and still no stand in my driveway😂
 

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I know, thanks. I haven't really carried it with me daily per se, but I really couldn't understand how someone could have the audacity to even do such a thing. If I could have gotten a replacement then, I would have just bought it and moved along, but it wasn't available.

The person also seemed to know I could do nothing more about it and almost seemed to enjoy knowing that.
Some people just need a boot in their ass
 

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Been there, too
Back about 97 I loaned a co-worker several books/magazines regarding Corvette restoration. Got em all back except Ecklers’ Guide to Fiberglass Repair. Really good read. Asked about it several times and got only promises. Still want that publication. If u have one I would be interested or “maybe time to let it go”!!! LOL
 

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many years ago I borrowed a 32mm and 36mm sockets from a "friend"--he had his initials engraved on the sockets. Took them back and he wasn't home so I put them in a McDonalds sack and set them between his storm door and back door. About 2 weeks later he called and wanted to know when I was going to return the sockets. I told him what I had done with them and he said they weren't there. So I went to the parts store and bought new ones for him. I didn't think anything about it but happened by his shop one day and he was working. he asked me to hand him a socket and I opened his tool box and grabbed a 21mm socket he wanted and there was the 2 supposedly lost sockets I had borrowed and in the same drawer was both NEW sockets I had bought to replace them. Now that's a puzzler. I never mentioned it but conveniently unfriended him.
 

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As was mentioned the ole phrase , "neither a borrower nor a lender be" was taught to me by my Dad, he also taught me "waste not want not". Dad was one of 12 , his parents died when he was 10 and their house burned leaving the kids to fend on their own. A coal miner and WWII vet sorrowfully he passed on his 50th birthday. He had a tough go and I always think of how his life was in his childhood. So about co workers. You never know who or what they are made of . We had a bully type fella in our shop .....a real strange one .at first he seemed ok having a 52 4 door chevy ...so I loaned him my yard pull behind aireator ....it was over a year before I got it back ...his peculiar ways came out daily and I never turned my back to him . One day he snuck up behind my other co worker and wrapped the retractable electric cord around his neck and began to shake him . Zero tolerance put him out of the job for a year and a half. The Union and an EEO charge got him back with full back pay. Go figure???
 
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