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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have bought and sold cars, trucks, bikes, etc. for over 30 years, and I have always put a man at his word. You strike the deal, shake hands, and look him in the eye, done deal. This last year or so it seems that doesn't mean much anymore, I have had a bunch of guys back out, not show up, that kind of thing. Today was the last straw, guy looked at my 69 C10 last night, called me this morning said he'd take it. I said "you sure?" "Yep be there about 5 or 6, we gotta deal" About 4 this guy calls with some cockamamie story and is backing out. I'm done! Deposit in cash or it's for sale! So new rule: No more Gentleman's Agreements! There aren't enough Gentleman left in the world!!!!
 

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True!

"No more Gentleman's Agreements! There aren't enough Gentleman left in the world!!!"

Unfortunately, I have to agree. The Modern Society doesn't place much value on their word - - sad!
 

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rwhit if i shake your hand and look you in the eye you will know im good for it ,i know where you are coming from they just don,t make im like that any more
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 · (Edited)
It's a changed world out there. People with integrity are getting harder and harder to find.
That's a fact, and I'm sure the economy has a little to do with it. I'd bet there's more guys with integrity right here on this site than you'd find anywhere. I've had it happen before but lately it's overwhelming. This one today just ticked me off good, he claimed to be a car guy, yeh right!
 

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Randy i have beem operating by that "new rule" for awhile now. And people wonder why i require customers to pay a material deposit before i`ll order their material for a job. Most materials don`t taste very good when trying to eat them. :D
Terry
 

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Agreements

I hope you figured this out before you lost a bunch of money. All you have to do is pay attention and look around and see that people aren't raised with the same values like allot of us were raised that were born say in the 40's & 50's. Not saying there is not an exception to this.
 

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Yeah for those of born in the 40's and 50's a man's word and a handshake used to mean something. Today??? I just don't know...for us boomers and the younger generations we only have ourselves to blame...somehow. someway we didn't pass on what we were raised with...became too namby-pamby. listened to the "experts" on child rearing. losing sight of the fact we were not teaching our children "core" values
I see it in the classroom when I substitute teach...and there is not a thing I can do about it...boils down to one thing RESPECT!!! for your elders, your parents, your teachers and ultimately yourself

No not all the kids or young adults are bad but a lot of them just lack common decency and respect...easier to skate than face the consequences seems a prevalent attitude today.

Ok off my soapbox now
 

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Agreements

Yeah for those of born in the 40's and 50's a man's word and a handshake used to mean something. Today??? I just don't know...for us boomers and the younger generations we only have ourselves to blame...somehow. someway we didn't pass on what we were raised with...became too namby-pamby. listened to the "experts" on child rearing. losing sight of the fact we were not teaching our children "core" values
I see it in the classroom when I substitute teach...and there is not a thing I can do about it...boils down to one thing RESPECT!!! for your elders, your parents, your teachers and ultimately yourself

No not all the kids or young adults are bad but a lot of them just lack common decency and respect...easier to skate than face the consequences seems a prevalent attitude today.

Ok off my soapbox now
Good point, "RESPECT", I think MANNERS (lack of) might be part of it also. If I was a teacher I would probably be without a job or in jail, I wish you good luck.
I remember the day when they didn't call home from school till AFTER they gave you the licks, then you got home you got more of a licking and any friends house you visited their parents had permission to whip you if you didn't act right at their house.
 

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Yeah for those of born in the 40's and 50's a man's word and a handshake used to mean something. Today??? I just don't know...for us boomers and the younger generations we only have ourselves to blame...somehow. someway we didn't pass on what we were raised with...became too namby-pamby. listened to the "experts" on child rearing. losing sight of the fact we were not teaching our children "core" values
I see it in the classroom when I substitute teach...and there is not a thing I can do about it...boils down to one thing RESPECT!!! for your elders, your parents, your teachers and ultimately yourself

No not all the kids or young adults are bad but a lot of them just lack common decency and respect...easier to skate than face the consequences seems a prevalent attitude today.

Ok off my soapbox now
I like to believe most of us born in the 60s also were raised with the proper values in life too. Atleast thats the way my Dad raised me. A mans word and handshake was worth every bit of any contract years ago. But not today!!! Today unfortunately it is totally the opposite.
 

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I liked the old Ronald Regan saying ( NOT POLITICAL )

Trust but Verify

I think that means I trust you as long as you have put cash in my hand.

otis:)
 

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Rudy, yes you are right but our generation who had kids in the 60's/70's well we messed up and let things like instilling core values in our children get away from us. Not saying all parents did but society overall ruled began ruling over how we should raise our kids.

I substitute teach in the building trades program a combined program for the 3 high schools here. As a sub I do not have the "rights" of a normal teacher such as they are yet I will not brook any poor behavior in "my" classroom, if the student does not like my methods "well theres the door you know where the office is". One other thing I made abudunatly clear..."you are here to learn, I'm here to help you" and I make every student drop their cellphone,i-pod, mpc3, whatever into a box at the beginning of class...if they don't like it they can leave and tell someone who cares. I was called into the principals office regarding this last year after she recieved some complaints...lets just say we reached an understanding. I do not need this job but I feel I can help these kids maybe learn a trade. I went back to college to refresh my teaching degree after retiring with 35 years in the construction industry hoping I could help some kids learn something, kids who due to one circumstance or another werent bound for a higher education.

Yes RESPECT and MANNERS...so lacking today throughout our society...so sad.
 

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Rudy, yes you are right but our generation who had kids in the 60's/70's well we messed up and let things like instilling core values in our children get away from us. Not saying all parents did but society overall ruled began ruling over how we should raise our kids.

I substitute teach in the building trades program a combined program for the 3 high schools here. As a sub I do not have the "rights" of a normal teacher such as they are yet I will not brook any poor behavior in "my" classroom, if the student does not like my methods "well theres the door you know where the office is". One other thing I made abudunatly clear..."you are here to learn, I'm here to help you" and I make every student drop their cellphone,i-pod, mpc3, whatever into a box at the beginning of class...if they don't like it they can leave and tell someone who cares. I was called into the principals office regarding this last year after she recieved some complaints...lets just say we reached an understanding. I do not need this job but I feel I can help these kids maybe learn a trade. I went back to college to refresh my teaching degree after retiring with 35 years in the construction industry hoping I could help some kids learn something, kids who due to one circumstance or another werent bound for a higher education.

Yes RESPECT and MANNERS...so lacking today throughout our society...so sad.
WE NEED MORE TEACHERS LIKE YOU
 

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Sorry guys I dont agree with alot of the comments :eek: I am what you refer to as the new generation on the block, BUT I still believe in the old values your word & handshake is as valued to me as signing on the dotted line :D
 

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rw, I have read and re-read this post a couple of times I knew I wanted to respond but every time I read it again my thoughts changed.

You are right in that the world has moved on when it comes to "Personal Ethics". Doesn't mean you have to move on just because some folks have. If you do that then you are going to be the loser not them, they are already losers, surely you don't want to join that group. Do You?

Now with that said I don't understand what "YOU" lost in this transaction. Dude called in the morning you say. Said he would be over around at 5 or 6, then calls you back at 4 and comes up with some reason why he's not going to do the deal. So he had you on the hook for what 8 or maybe 9 hours maybe? What did that cost you? Did you have buyers show up with green money and you turned them away because of the deal you thought you had with this guy? I mean what did it cost YOU? Did you take off work to do the deal? What in this thing has you so upset that you are willing to stop trusting folks forever????

I mean you are the only one who can decide something like this, and as far as you are concerned you will be right. I'm not saying you won't.

Me personally I have been burn't a time or two. Just a couple of months ago I had a deal for a 1956 Chevy 2 door wagon. Car was on Craigslist me and the seller struck a deal on the phone, he's in Georgia and I'm in Alabama about 300 miles or so. I'm doing the driving and did not have anyone to go with me to retrive this car, and I had broken my car trailer and had not had time to fix it. So I go and spend $2,400 for a brand new trailer. Next day dude calls and says his wife doesn't want him to sell it deals off. (I was upset for a couple of days sure, but I have found these things usually work out for the best.

For me I'm going to choose to trust folks on a hand shake if that is what is called for. I'm the better for that, the way it makes me feel is worth more than money...

I hope you change you're mind, and maybe judge who you can trust on that shake and who you can't.

Roland
 

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I just had the same thing happen with a guy in his mid 50's. He even gave me a deposit. I turned away 2 potential buyers before this guy backed out and asked for his money back. My new rule is, It's not yours till I get money. Deposits are non refundable. I hate to be that way but that's the way the world has gone.
Rick
 

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I've had something similar to this happen recently as well. My car wasn't for sale, it'd just been sitting in my driveway without moving for a while, he made the first move. I had just bought the new clutch and driveshafts to get it back on the road. Decided to help him out and sell the car to this "kid". Made an agreement verbally that he was going to come back in a few months as he was saving up the money (he's still at school). I msg'd his mobile after a few weeks or so, still interested, I'll get the money end of July etc. August comes, nothing. Msg'd him mid August, no reply. I'm now going to fix it up and possibly sell it for twice what I was gonna sell it to him fore with minimal extra paid out.

Next time I'll be getting a deposit if the car isn't going straight away. It cost me nothing but time, but it's still annoying. I was born in the 70's and I agree with the :shakehands: philosophy (well used to, unless it's a good friend that's involved).
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Everyone's made some good view points and I'm listening. This deal today really didn't cost me much other than time, it's what I lost, a little more faith in people doing what they say they're going to do. It has happened so frequently lately that it has become the norm rather than the occasional. I live by my principles, if I tell someone I'm going to do something I do it. Let's state for the record that this was a guy from my generation and what made me so mad about him was the fact he was dishonest about it. If he had called and said hey Randy I'm having second thoughts, or maybe I shouldn't spend the money right now, fine and I could understand that, but don't back out on your word and think you have to lie about it to make yourself feel better. I've always been good at spotting the BS'ers, maybe I'm losing my touch or maybe there's just more folks out there today that have lost some of their honesty and integrity. The Trust and Verify saying is similiar to what my poker playing Granddad used to say " Heck I trust everybody, but I always cut the deck"
 

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Randy You took the words right out of My mouth!!, I have been saying the same thing way too often lately and how sad that it be the truth!!!!, Us OLD SCHOOLERS are the dying breed!!
 
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